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stardust falling
17 August 2007 @ 09:05 pm
moving.. moving far far away... to greenylove.livejournal.com
so if you're there, i might just see you there.
 
 
stardust falling
16 August 2007 @ 12:34 am
God help. i lift this up into your hands, i realy dont know how this can carry out, it hurts. especially after what happened. I dont want to be after only what i have. i really dont knwo what else can be offered. i dont know how im gonna carry this out, when what is in and out is generally the same, i guess then it's all Yours to say. help.
 
 
stardust falling
04 August 2007 @ 03:00 pm
Ding Dong, here to post about my FOP duty. =] it's darn exciting can? =] =] =] super cool, fun and really in every word of exciting. there's so muchie to learn. ok i really got no energy to talk, haha. so i'm just going to leave a link of the usher blog about what i've written. it's super darn cool. =] love usher man. =]

http://usheringpeopleintotheirdestiny.blogspot.com/

read read read! =]
 
 
stardust falling
02 August 2007 @ 03:02 pm
it's exactly one more month before i'm one year in heart of God church. 11 months just come and go, in a snap of fingers, we're different from when we first started out, the good, and yet also the bad. In the 11 months i've been in heart of God church, i've made great friends, had excellent not just good leaders, learnt more, not just about myself, but also so much more about others. to learn to let go, and not just hold on. the times, when you just feel like giving up. the times you just dont want to do anything, and the times, you dont know what to ado anymore.

11months. not even a year some can say. but so many things have gone on, some people see, and some people never notice any change in their lives. I've been blessed with pastors who know me more than i know myself. who during altar call, say more than what anyone has ever even known. 

11months. life changes. I've been through what i never wanted to go through, i've done what i'm suppose to, i've dont things i never knew i'd achieve. yet still..

God, You have never forsaken me.
 
 
stardust falling
02 August 2007 @ 04:15 am

Unafraid, Unashame, Lord we know who we are.
We are your people and we wont be silent.

Hear us cry unified at the top of our lungs.
You are our God and we will NOT BE SHAKEN.

never assume. and only presume what is necessary.

 
 
stardust falling
02 August 2007 @ 12:04 am
i remember my first visit to FTMS house, level six, Heart of God church. i remember getting saved during VBS. i remember rising up fast after that, during Christmas and Create. 

i remember the presence of God who came, when i was having heart to heart with Charleston. i remember the light gentle yet in turn strong presence of God. SUPERNATURAL. i remember pastor Lia prophesying over me, PREACH! LOVE! 

and then, the last service of FTMS. Pastor Sy Rogers. Talented, precise and articulate about literally love, life and sex. You knew exactly what to say to touch the hearts or more than anything else, their minds.

I love my God. You never gave up on me. You never said, hey you, you walked away from me so shoo. You never said that. what you did say was, "You are My beloved daughter in whom I am well-pleased." and yet, that was after my roller coaster rides. the physical, the emotional, the spiritual, the mental. You were always there. Youe stood there watching, always watching over me, like as if i was riding a bike. You stood by the bike, holding on to it, but ten again, ready to catch me when i fell. and true to Your word, you always did.

1st corinthians 13:13 reads :13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

You loved me, even when i had little or even no faith, and even when I'd lost hope. 

The song, titled Inside out:

A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains.
Should I stumble again, still I'm caught in Yout grace
Everlasting, You light will shine when all else fades.
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

Your will above all else, my purpose remains.
The art of losing myself in bringing You praise.
Everlasting, You light will shine when all else fades.
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

In my heart and my soul
I give You control.
Consume me from the inside out Lord.
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from inside out


Truely, a thousand times i've failed, still your mercy remains. You alone know what has gone wrong with my life. You alone have seen the hurts, and felt my pain. You alone, know what goes on. You alone, have cried for me. You alone, shed blood and tears against my actions. You alone understood me needs, my deepest desires, my uttermost wants. You alone, knew what has happened. Yet, you were always here, standing my me, ready to catch me when i fell.

Time and time again, i turned away. time and time again, You walked behind me, never saying anything, though You hurt, You never showed me Your tears, yet all You showed was how You loved me, and how You'd give and have already given, and still are giving to me.

I know posting this is a little stupid, looking at the contents of it, but then again, the world has to know You reign.
 
 
stardust falling
01 August 2007 @ 10:58 pm

Leonard, here's my dedication to you, thanks for everything you've done in my life! =]
 
 
stardust falling

I love my ministries! =] usher and cch. =] 

I wasn’t suppose to be at CCH on sat, but still I went anyway. =] it's always so fun there. =] especially after you know some of them. =] well, yes, most of them are noisy. But goodness. =] have you ever sat in one of cch services? Eric came in last week, and we were talking about it yesterday night. he was telling me about when he came in during the altar call. God loves his little children. God's presence is so strong in CCH. like with the fact that when you usually sit in normal Sunday youth services, the presence of God takes some time into coming into you right? and at times, you just don’t feel like worshiping, but let me tell you how much God loves his little children. I was on projection. and far from where they were having worship. even during worship I could feel God's presence so strong. no matter how much I felt like NOT worshipping, there is no way that you can not worship there. there is this air of innocence around them, this purity. they really don’t care about whether their neighbours around say anything or not. they kneel down during altar call. they cry. they pray strong in tongues. kids. we're talking primary school kids here, asking for the gift of tongues. ASKING. sister
mae ann was praying over one of the kids, and he asked what's this thing you guys say, so fast. and he said, I also want. and so did the girl beside him. PRIMARY SCHOOL KIDS! asking for the gift of tongues. oh my goodness. you have no idea how CCH is like. it is a privilege to be able to be able to serve in CCH im telling you.  WOW! 

OK. come Sunday. nubien gents! hahahahahahaha. 467 CHAIRS IN 15 MINUTES! this includes putting flyers, aligning the chairs, and just shifting them and everything. wow. so, also, so many people ended up sitting in the aisle. hahaha. well, most of the ushers actually. then they started shifting chairs into the aisle as well, so that most of them had seats. hahahahah. so, left only the ushers and myself standing. =] I love being and usher, even if im not ushering. hahahaha. and then after that, Clarence told me that there was an empty seat. right in front of the aircon. pfft. my hair was going all over can. hahaha. clarence you deliberately right. hahahaha. but I love being an usher. =] then meeting with Jian Ming. regarding FOP! festival of Praise! =] OOOOOO. I m gonna usher all three days man. it's gonna be so cool.! hahaa. and shanny's leading! hahahaha. =] I love working under shanny. =] he really cares. I don’t know how, but I really love ushering under him, I don’t know why, but there's this attachment under my first two usher leaders, shanny, and Ernest, though Ernie is not ushering anymore. he was my second ic. I really miss ushering under Ernie, the life of the team =]. so that's FOP. 

before that will be sy rogers. =] im ushering friday and Sunday! hahahaha. =] im under peishan now. =], super cute can. Hahahaha. so, friday is under peishan, and Sunday will be under shanny. =] LAST SERVICE AT DHOBY GHAUT! =] IM GONNA MISS YOU! **[will tell you the story later] it really feels good to be part of the teams at dhoby ghaut,even if it was with fighters. and even if I wasn’t on duty. =]

lastly, GRAND OPENING! =]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=] iM EXCITED! =] VERY EXCITED! though not for the reasons of leaving Dhoby. ** ok ok. I’ll make cookies. =] hahahaha. =] I love my church! =] 


** well, I guess, I hate leaving dhoby. it was there that I really grew up as a christian, where I first encountered God, where I learnt to speak in tongues with Leonard praying over me in the nursery, the small fun joys we had there. such as alvaro Sanchez ushering. and my first JOY. coming in late for my first time into HOGC. hahaha. I was late for my ever first service there to HOGC. where lights were out, and yet, all the lights flashing over the place, the band and it's just loud mind blowing praise songs. and BK standing in the corner, where I’d steal peeps at him, wondering how a guy standing 1.85m [he was still 1.85 then, he's 1.88 now. haha] could worship. we use to disturb him, BK, stretch any further and I think you can hit the ceiling le la. he is one who worships without caring about what else goes on around him. tall though he is, his hands are outstretched to the ceilings, to the heavens above. not the kind that you only lift half way. but straight up. BK, you're a darn inspiration. =] where I learn to love people, not just my leaders, to lead, not just to follow.  dhoby, where Charleston prophesied over me, Supernatural. where Charleston played 2 foosball games with me.
where Leonard asked me the oh so famous questions, "how are YOU." where I gave my life and acknowledged Jesus Christ as my Lord, Saviour and King. on the 16th dec, last day of VBS. and when we came back after spending a short stint at Singpost, during the first service, well, I must admit, I wasn’t very attentive when service started as I had to go check on people, only when Melvin blacked out the lights did this phrase flash through my brain. "I’m home." I love dhoby ghuat, where I was what I wanted to be, not who I had to be. [Looking at the usual presumption that loving a person should be for what he is, not who he is.] true, perhaps because singpost is not yet like the home that we're looking for, but then again, dhoby ghaut. I love home. =] not just a house, but a home. a home, where the heart truely lies.


reminding me of Sunday. haha. Roy wanted to meet the C zone people downstairs. and then we all thought he was going to share something. and he actually wanted to tell us......................... we're going to meridian as a zone for dinner. hahahaha. I think some people reading this are most likely rolling their eyes. nonsense. and so, I went upstairs to get my wallet. When I came down, I saw most of the zone at Istana Park already, with the rest crossing the road. so I slowly la. and when I reached the traffic light, the zone was starting to move away. and then Roy turns around sees me and yells, C ZONE, WAIT, WAIT FOR AGNETTA. I was like so................. [face turn red] Roy. thanks alot arhz. hahahaha. 


Dhoby, I'm gonna miss you. =] loads.

 
 
stardust falling
19 July 2007 @ 07:23 pm
I'm currently so super duper addicted to the song goodnight goodnight by maroon 5. hahahaha. well, that's not looking too much at the lyrics i guess. it's a damn emo song. hahahahahaha. loves it. hahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8fiJ6UduCM
cool cool cool! nice. =]=]=]=]=] sweetest goodbye also not bad. =]
 
 
emotions running high: ditzy
 
 
stardust falling
18 July 2007 @ 11:17 pm

I love ikea i love i ikea i love ikea. i just do. i'm going to make tiramisu for pastors this weekend, and maybe also, charleston. =] im trying to find a nice box so that the wine glasses will fit just nice. HAHA. im making tiramisu in glasses prats. not taking the pastors out for a picnic. hahahaha. i guess it'll be fun. i guess. Burn candles, BURN. Ikea = good food + great company + fantastic beds + a whole lot of excitement. I'm happy with my glassware =] Mocha frapp. i'm coming. soon. hahahaha

 
 
emotions running high: HIGH!
 
 
stardust falling
17 July 2007 @ 12:22 am

i dunnoe why? or how? haaa. may be how i know. hahaha. but im a happy happy girl today!!! =] i loves my darlings. =] serious case of pocky addiction.

 
 
emotions running high: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! =]
 
 
stardust falling
13 July 2007 @ 01:02 am

i find this super nonsensical. hahaha. i ate and slept the whole monday away, and i lost 1.4 kg someone explain what's going on? hahahaha. and it's not only the eat a bit, during the day and sleep alot kind. it's really eat alot. and even late at nigh, right before sleeping kind. and i stilll lost 1.4 kg. hahaha. nice. so, here i am eating again. hahahahahaha. God is a good God. hahahahahahahahaha. ok. im suddenly very addicted to this song, when you say nothing at all. hahahahahahaha. it really brings back memories eh. hahahahaha. long long memories. memories, that make you smile, knowing you know something people dont. =]

im still eating. i ate 2 packs of biscuit. hahahahaha. i do wonder if i WILL gain weight. hahahahahaha. eat and sleep. hahaha. the new diet regime. hahahahahahaha

pastor Lia, you rock! =]

 
 
stardust falling
13 July 2007 @ 12:31 am

this is IMAI!~ hahaha and me. we had nothing better to do after dinner. we were having BK, and the our dearest ONG. had to pop into the photo... ONG...


PUSH POP ADDICTIONS. HAHAHA. well, mai at least. hahahaha. im still very happy with my pocky addiction. =]
 
 
emotions running high: high
 
 
stardust falling
12 July 2007 @ 07:35 pm

You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.You are very demanding - and insisting on total involvement but you do not reciprocate with the same depth of feeling. However, it could well be that maybe an unprecedented surprise is awaiting you in the near future. For just as one whilst paddling in the sea, could flounder into a whirlpool, so you may be drawn into a loving situation that has high emotional demands - and you could well respond with a depth of emotion that you never even dreamed that you possessed.You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

how true how true. hahahahahaha every aspect of this is so so true. hahahahahah

 
 
emotions running high: indifferent
 
 
stardust falling
12 July 2007 @ 01:55 am
i sought an audience with Pastor Lia this evening. we were talking about all that's been going on, and i just had to tell her everything that i couldnt tell other people about. i guess i still feel weird talking about somethings to some people, but then again, she tells things like no one else does.

i dont know why?some people think that talking to Pastors is such a frightening thing, i actually prefer to talk to Pastor Lia about somethings. she can really raise some morale from no where, and just encourage you, even though she knows nothing about anything whatsoever. i guess, it's why she's a pastor. i really love her for what she can give me.namely, well, maybe not time, but her thoughts, which really come strong, and direct, yet it doesnt seem to hit you left right centre. i guess having a spiritual mother like that is where Charleston gets his genes from.

she seems to know more, well, i do think she does, know more about me, than i know about myself, and i'm not surprised i guess. we talked on touchy topics again. why do we always. but then again, the word she said, although similar to those someone has said to me a few days ago, she seems to always see so much more.

like how the cheap grace doctrine, is not just about how God loves us for who we are. the second part of the doctrine is about how God loves us to much for us to remain the way we are. and it's like that. what people have been tellingme, has all been similar to telling the first part of the doctrine. what pastor Lia said, was not just the front, but also what comes after that. that God loves us too much for us to remain the same. no wonder i love her so much.

She's unafraid of what i might think of her, willing to listen to ME TALK. i realised nowadays, i just shut up when people talk to me, or really just smile and act dumb. sometimes even so, but that's beside the point. haha. but yeah. it's only talking to pastor lia that really made me talk so much more. i mean i talk about things i never told anyone, stuff kept between a few dark friends. but then again, i have no qualms that pastor lia will keep my secrets, only to my leaders. i guess, that's why i love her so much. that encouragement just comes from no where. it seems to just spring out from the air. just "now you dont see it now you do." kinda thing. 

she's got a way of talking to you just you dont feel like somethings, and yet you feel like somethings. Pastor Lia, you rock.


Next i guess, would be, i guess im sorry. i hurt you, and i hurt you bad. i'm sorry i had to cry in front of you. :( and i didnt know how you felt. the words as i read them felt like lead in my stomach hitting solid rock bottom. piang. now we know i guess. just wanna let you know that i'm sorry. 


God, i'm sorry for not coming to you earlier. HOLD ON. ok. forgive her. i'm trying to. thank You for putting people like QIqi into my life. she's been a real bundle of joy. there's so much more to be said.. Thank You. 
 
 
stardust falling
11 July 2007 @ 12:11 am
i think even as humans, or even more as humans, we have no right to assume about other people. this only causes the hurts to come inbetween the people. so why are you still assuming?
 
 
stardust falling
09 July 2007 @ 03:31 am

If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which one would you choose? according to psychiatrists, they can predict your character frm what you have chose.

Angel food cake
Brownies
Lemon Meringue pie
Vanilla cake with chocolate icing
Strawberry short cake
Chocolate icing on chocolate cake
Ice cream
Carrot cake


Angel Food Cake: Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day.. others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

Brownies: You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue: Smooth, sexy, and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many good friends.

Vanilla Cake with chocolate icing: Fun loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you. You are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Shortcake: Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. you also tend to melt. You can be overly emotional at times. And sometimes can be annoying.

Chocolate on chocolate: Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream: You like sports, whether it is baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake: You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

 
 
emotions running high: quixotic
 
 
stardust falling
09 July 2007 @ 03:30 am

Copyrighted from Jie Wei of E2's blog. 
only two paragraphs actually. 

when you dance, i hold my breath and pray
you never fall. you musn't fall - you
can't fall.

but even if you do, i'll be there at the bottom of the
stage, waiting to catch a falling
star.

you were there to catch THIS falling star at least. thank you.
 
 
stardust falling
06 July 2007 @ 02:19 pm
my spontaneity really eludes me sometimes.
it's time to move on, come what may.
i seem to have suddenly turn off pocky. i do wonder what happened.
my head feels as if a train has just rolled over me. pfft.
i'm getting my butt back on track.
you made me feel and look beautiful. thank you for that.
thanks for letting my know that i'm perfect in every way.

God here i am to serve you.
 
 
emotions running high: =S =] nothing said.
 
 
stardust falling
when you're at sentosa, always remember to bring two things. close friends. and food, and today's food is DOUNTS! hahaha love 'em hate 'em
 
 
emotions running high: crazy
 
 
 
 

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